I wonder..

..how different my life would be if I had never found dance.. or more importantly if I had never kept dance.

If you’re just tuning in, I suppose I should share with you that I was a gymnast before I was a dancer. I switched to dance full time in high school. I danced competitively for four years before dancing recreationally in college, and now just find myself dancing in and around whatever space will have me.

Most recently, in fact almost exactly a week ago, this space has included a spot in the mall in Scottsdale, AZ. While I have very much danced my way from store to store with Shel in previous shopping adventures, this adventure was a little different.

Tucked back behind the food court is "Wonderspaces," a spot I had stumbled upon on instagram very early on in our travels out here in sunny Arizona. I since have learned that there is another "Wonderspaces" in Philly, they have pop ups in San Diego, CA, and they are currently fitting a warehouse for another location in Austin, TX! I very much may have to make it a mission to explore all of them. Their website describes them as "an ever-changing art show featuring immersive and interactive art instillations,” so essentially an art museum for the busy body.. aka me.

The exhibit I was most looking forward to was one I had frequently seen advertised on instagram, but couldn’t remember exactly what it was called or if it were even still actively in the space. Additionally, when we checked in, they told us that one of the installations was under construction for some maintenance, and I was very much hoping that it wasn't this one.

As we made our way through and found ourselves in awe at the lights and music and art and wonder, we came across a long black curtain mostly covering the doorway to a room which appeared to be completely dark inside. On the wall to the left of the curtain read "ShadowPlay" which sounded vaguely familiar. Reluctantly — as we weren't sure if the curtain were synonymous with "closed" — we pulled the curtain back and stepped inside. On one end of the room was a projector that didn't seem to be projecting much onto the opposite end of the room. The walls were bare. There was no instruction. There were no rules. As I curiously walked in front of the projector however, the whole room changed. It was the exhibit I was most excited for.. and it very much did not disappoint.

Lizzy stayed back and pulled her phone out to take pictures which then turned into video as I started moving around the space playing with the light and, well, shadows projecting onto the wall in front of me. I often times put such care and intention behind the music I choose to dance to. This time was different though. My “music” was simply the hum of the projector and the murmur of the individuals mulling around enjoying the other installations. I moved my body organically and while I saw Lizzy was filming and thought that it would be cool to see the dance over and over again, I truly was just dancing with and for my shadows.

When we got home later that day, I opened my current improv playlist on Spotify and scrolled to the bottom to see what song had been added most recently. I snagged the song and added it to the video and watched the magic happen. The amount of times when the music matched perfectly to the movement was uncanny. It was almost like it was meant to be. Which is so much of how I live my life these days. Everything happens for a reason and while we sometimes don't know what that reason is, it's there.. somewhere.. sometimes behind the curtain, and even more so sometimes only clear when you step into just the right spot.

The rest of the space had plenty of other magical moments that I was very happy to be able to share with my lil sis, someone who has always shared my love for dance and will always be one of my favorite people to send or receive music or dance videos with.

One of the beauties of dance is that everyone can interpret it differently. This is true from start to finish, and that meaning can even change for the same person, simply based on the situation you’re in— both for the performer and the audience member. I’m curious what you took out of that video, but because a blog is more of a one sided conversation, I’ll share here and you can share internally (or externally; I’ll listen!). So much of life— especially these days— unknown. Similarly, as much as I had seen still images of the exhibit and the changing of the light came in a bit of a pattern, it mostly was unknown. With the changing light came a change in my shadow. Usually, when existing and moving about the world, and in a stereotypical sense (ex: Peter Pan) your shadow falls behind you. Everyone else sees it, but you’d only see it if you turned around and took the time to actively see it. In this setting, my shadow was right in front of me.. often much larger than life.. and sometimes had multiple versions of me in colors, in grey/black tones, sharp definition, blurry.. I couldn’t not see it. In fact I tried so hard to see the little details and differences and let my shadow tell me how to move. I have tried very hard lately to mimic this idea in my everyday life and listen to my body. I always have so much going on and the only way I can keep up with this pace is by listening to this body of mine, because I only have one of it and I intend to let it give me one full long life.

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RULES Paola Ibarra Llano

VOLUMEN Filip Roca

SHADOWPLAY John Edmark

LIGHT LEAKS Kyle McDonald and Jonas Jongejan

RADIANCE Matt Elson

RADIANCE Matt Elson

GLITCHE MASARY Studios

PLUME Ian Brill

THE IMMIGRANT Michael Murphy

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I'll go wherever the music takes me, but in the next little while, I'll be dancing through Buffalo, Aruba, the Finger Lakes, Salt Lake City.. and then one final destination that some of you may already know about. I'm keeping it mostly close to my chest for now, but show day will be here soon enough. You will be cordially invited in due time. Until then, find your own curtain to pull back, you never know what wonders could be behind it.